Licking the yoghurt lid

June 08, 2014

Your tongue’s true mission.

Googling for “licking the yoghurt lid” gives you a large span of different results.

Most of these range from voting polls to determine if the majority of the population is a yoghurt lid licker or not, others try to convince you why it’s gross and why you shouldn’t do it. Some even go to the extent of saying that it’s the rational thing to do; you’ve paid for the yoghurt and you’re not a wasteful person.

Some don’t lick it, but scrape it off with a spoon and then eat it that way.

A while ago I realized that one of my favorite things in life is licking away the cappuccino foam that you’re left with when the steamy milk and coffee reach their end. Grabbing the spoon, taking the top off if it’s a takeaway and just going for it, it’s one of my finest pleasures in life. Hell, it’s probably 75% the reason I drink cappuccinos to begin with. I absolutely adore and crave this near sexual process, and if there’s no foam on top of that cappuccino, my dear barista, I guarantee you I won’t be returning.

But the other day, I didn’t get a spoon in my cappuccino. There was a lot of foam left to be consumed by the end, and I wasn’t ready to give that up. So right then, in the middle of a relatively busy London coffee shop, I went for it:

I stuck my tongue out and licked the hell out of the inside of that creamy, gently warm and delicious foamy cup.

And then I used my two fingers to take care of the rest. When I was done, I carefully wiped them using the napkin. That was one clean cup.

So you lick that lid without any shame.

Lick the cup with no guilt, use your fingers if you have to, and make sure to do it and exhibit proudly. Licking the lid is probably one of the most genuine, raw and sensual and care-free gestures a free human being can do. You grab that lid and proudly stick your tongue out: lick it once, lick it twice, lick it as many times as you have to. Have no shame in showing the pink shades of your tongue to the world around you. Tongues are beautiful, kissable, and they’re meant to taste what we love, whether that is a pecan brownie, your lover’s tongue or a lentils’ soup.

Licking the lid, the cup, whatever it may be, without any shame means you don’t care about what others might think, not the ones who don’t matter to you anyway. Yes, it also means you’re not wasteful, but ultimately it’s so much more than that: it’s an appreciation of the subtle art of being thankful for the little things. It will make you a better lover, a better human.

Let’s see more of these hardcore tongue action.

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Written by Ricardo Magalhães who works for the Internet. By day, a front-end web developer with a passion for typography and design. By night, he sleeps. Follow me on Mastodon.